Interview with Holly Brown: 11 reasons why you may need a social media break

Holly Brown

Does the thought of taking social media break spark anxiety, or a sense of relief?

Many of us feel inundated by the politics in our feed, or maybe by the images of other people’s seemingly perfect lives.  How do you know when you need to take a break? And what should the boundaries be when you return?

According to marriage and family therapist Holly Brown, you know you need a break if you:

1. quickly feel demoralized and hopeless every time you log in.
2. slowly feel demoralized and hopeless every time you log in. (Sometimes a viewing session has an insidious effect that lasts long after you’ve turned away.)
3. are losing large amounts of time and neglecting tasks that you value more. This is a sign that you’re losing track of your priorities and perspective.
4. wind up feeling bad about yourself, and inadequate compared to others.
5. feel more judgmental of yourself and others. Unfettered mean thoughts can easily go unchecked when you’re on social media.
6. are writing nasty things to other people, joining in the dog pile in ways that are unkind and unproductive. Brown is also a psychological suspense novelist whose recent release THIS IS NOT OVER dives deep into how social media and internet culture exacerbates the projections, jealousies, and misperceptions between her two protagonists.
7. you are jumping on social media more than once an hour, or just have it on all day long.
8. if the thought of NOT being on social media sites for a day fills you with anxiety and fear.
9. you’re craving pings all the time, constantly overstimulated or in need of stimulation.
10. you’re not connecting with people in person.
11. you go to check one thing and the suddenly, it’s an hour later. But the time spent wasn’t really happy or fulfilling; it was just time. And it led you to crave more input, like you’re always seeking another hit.

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Holly Brown, MFT lives with her husband and daughter in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she’s a practicing marriage and family therapist, and a psychological suspense novelist whose recent release is THIS IS NOT OVER. Her blog, “Bonding Time”, is featured on Psychcentral.com, a mental health website with 1.5 million visitors per month. For more, visit hollybrownmft.com and hollybrownbooks.com.

I had the honor of interviewing Holly.  Enjoy!

 Faten Abdallah (FA): Define Social Media.  How did it shape our world today?

 Holly Brown (HB): Social media is Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, LinkedIn...and even when you don't have your own account, the impact is unavoidable. That's because people are witnessing each others' lives (or at least, the curated version of them) and that then shapes the way those people's perspectives. Also, the empathy-numbing and meanness that can pervade social media can extend beyond as well. If we don't adequately consider others' feelings online, we're less likely to continue them in person.

FA: What are some pros and cons of Social Media?

HB: A pro is that people have a forum to efficiently connect with one another. We can share good news and commiserate over bad. We can keep in touch in a time-effective way. We can send each other love, affirmations, and support, and see the latest pictures of our friends and our friends' children across the country. And at its best, it's a place to commune over similarities and explore differences in order to broaden our frames of reference.

At its worst, it's where people are intolerant of differences, and where it can be too easy to dehumanize others since we don't have to see their faces. We can then relate to them accordingly--as if they don't deserve basic human decency and respect. Then there's the way it can effect self-esteem. We may compare ourselves unfavorably to others, or can find ourselves seeking instant gratification and validation rather than gaining those things through our own esteemable acts, and through deeper connections with those who are, ostensibly, closest to us. That means that instead of being with the ones we love, we're paying them half-attention as we check the web. Being mindful and present is what strengthens relationships, and social media can be a distraction from that.

FA: How do you know if you are getting burnout from using Social Media?

HB: You're not having any fun on social media but you just can't stop checking in. You've developed a bad case of FOMO. You might be comparing your life to what you're viewing of other people's lives, and you're losing the awareness that what you're seeing is just what they want you to see.  Perhaps you're more involved in your online life than your real one, deciding what to do or not do based on how it would appear to others. You're losing touch with your lived experience because it's all about how you appear, as contrasted with how you feel. You might not even really know how you feel anymore, as distinct from what you're uploading.

You're also burning out if you're frequently seeking jolts of self-esteem from social media--for example, needing to be "liked" often in order to feel okay. If your moods are highly dependent on social media, both positive and negative, you're entering a danger zone.

FA: Is it good or necessary to take a break from Social Media?  Explain.

HB: It's not necessary if social media is an enhancing adjunct to your life, and you're able to keep it in its proper place. If it's bleeding into everything else, then a break would be good. And if you're got the signs of burnout I referenced above, then it might be necessary.

FA: What kind of help is available for people who can't stop taking a break from Social Media?

HB: If you can't stop taking a break, then that might mean you want your break to be permanent. And that's okay. I know people who are content in their lives without participating actively in social media.

Now if you need a break but can't enforce it, it's possible you need an accountability partner. This can be your romantic partner or a friend, just someone who's doing it along with you. This works well for other motivational activities, like working out where people are much better at showing up at the gym if they know a friend is waiting for them there.

And if you're not able to get off social media, it might indicate another issue. Maybe you're having trouble engaging deeply in your life and you could use a mindfulness practice. Or perhaps you're combing social media as a way to avoid whatever problem feels too big to tackle. In that case, some therapy could be helpful.

 Readers might want to note that 

• my  blog on PsychCentral is : https://blogs.psychcentral.com/bonding-time/
• I have a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, in Alameda: http://hollybrownmft.com/
• I have an author website (http://hollybrownbooks.com ) and a Facebook author page (https://www.facebook.com/hollybrownauthor ).

Prevent Child Heatstroke Deaths in Hot Cars

Join National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), Safe Kids Worldwide, and safety advocates on social media to raise awareness about the dangers to children in hot cars. Child heatstroke messaging, statistics and prevention tips will be posted on Facebook and Twitter – using the hashtag #heatstroke – every hour on the hour from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern, today.  

At least 24 children have died due to heatstroke already in 2013 – medically termed “hyperthermia.” With record-setting heat blanketing significant portions of the country for much of this summer, we are urging parents and caregivers to think, “Where’s Baby? Look Before You Lock,” the primary message in NHTSA’s heatstroke public education campaign.

When the outside temperature is in the low 80s, the temperature inside a vehicle can reach deadly levels in only 10 minutes, even with a window rolled down two inches. Children’s bodies overheat easily, and infants and children under four years old are at the greatest risk for heat-related illness.

Help spread the word and prevent anymore of these tragic deaths. Urge parents to take precautions, such as:

•  Never leave a child unattended in a vehicle — even if the windows are partially open or the engine is running and the air conditioning is on;
•  Make a habit of looking in the vehicle — front and back — before locking the door and walking away;
•  Ask the childcare provider to call if the child does not show up for care as expected;
•  Do things that serve as a reminder that a child is in the vehicle, such as placing a purse or briefcase in the back seat to ensure no child is accidentally left in the vehicle, or writing a note or using a stuffed animal placed in the driver’s view to indicate a child is in the car seat; and,
• Teach children that a vehicle is not a play area and store keys out of a child’s reach.

In addition, NHTSA and Safe Kids urge community members who see a child alone in a hot vehicle to immediately call 911 or the local emergency number. A child in distress due to heat should be removed from the vehicle as quickly as possible and rapidly cooled.

To learn more about NHTSA’s “Where’s Baby? Look Before You Lock.” campaign, visit www.SaferCar.gov/heatstroke.  To learn more about Safe Kids’ “Never Leave Your Child Alone in a Car” campaign, visit www.safekids.org/heatstroke .

10 Great Tumblr Blogs for News Junkies

Social media has made staying well informed a cinch. Within seconds, you can scan international headlines, domestic news segments, and browse breaking news headlines as they break. And it’s little wonder why: the power of news is a centrifugal force—it’s even given Tumblr, a site once synonymous with the millennial generation and the Ryan Gosling ‘hey girl meme,’ some serious credibility. Whether it’s the Tumblr pages of trusted names in journalism like The Economist and The Atlantic, or more novel news outposts like Brooklyn Mutt and Short Form Blog, news junkies will surely satisfy their cravings by following these 10 news-themed Tumblr blogs as suggested by SocialWebDaily.com :

1. The Economist: Self-ascribed as “the most trusted source of global news analysis,” The Economist has been delivering noteworthy news pieces since 1843. This Tumblr page aggregates thought-provoking quotes, the week’s cartoon, and curated long-form pieces from the Economist website and the magazine.

2. Short Form Blog: Short Form’s motto is: “Read a little. Learn a lot.” This Tumblr is perfect for news junkies on the go. It delivers important news in bite-size nuggets, so you don’t waste anytime reading fluff while trying to keep up with the latest news. Pull quotes and succinct summaries make this Tumblr a must for news advocates who are short on time.

3. Brooklyn Mutt: Peter Wade of The Daily runs this catch-all Tumblr blog. The site is primarily concerned with rounding up the latest news—from breaking stories and international headlines, to movie releases, viral memes, celebrity tweets, and more.

4. Neigborhoodr: Sometimes quality local news is tough to find. The Neighborhoodr Tumblr blogs are looking to change that with their hyper-localized network of news blogs. Just choose your city from the list and read up on local issues. It’s a great way to stay informed of neighborhood initiatives, events, and more.

5. Journal of a Journalist: For true news-philes, this blog by Neil Ungerleider of Fast Company, provides interesting insight into the world of journalism. You’ll find interesting news stories, invaluable commentary, and an awesome sci-fi slant. A great place to find news you didn’t even know you cared about.

6. GOOD: GOOD is a great place to stay informed on all things humming in the philanthropic world. Whether it’s the latest efforts to reform education, new findings on gender disparity in the media world, or a think piece on organic wine, you can get all of your humanitarian-focused news here.

7. Future Journalism Project: The Future Journalism Project “explores disruption, opportunity, and innovation in journalism” and it sure does deliver. You’ll find tons of news pieces relating to the current state of journalism—and tons more on what’s soon to come. Whether you’re looking for insight into Patch, Pinterest, or issues affecting journalism, you’re likely to find what you’re looking for on the Future Journalism Project. It’s a great way to stay up-to-date on issues affecting the news industry.

8. Breaking News: CNN’s Breaking News has an extremely active Twitter account, Facebook page, and website. So it should come as little surprise that their Tumblr page is yet another great medium to get the latest in breaking news. This clean, streamlined blog shows headline-worthy photos and posts important news from around the globe.

9. The Atlantic: The Atlantic’s Tumblr blog is a perfect antidote to offset the anxious lulls between the magazine’s released issues. It showcases gorgeous photos, provocative quotes, and interesting memes found across the web. It’s a great way to keep up with the publication while you eagerly await the next full issue.

10. Mother Jones: Get your MoJo fix in a whole new way, with the Mother Jones Tumblr page. The site features a range of intriguing news bits—from pressing current issues, economic op-eds, and political insights, to viral memes and witty pictures. Plus, if you feel so inclined, you can ask a MoJo editor anything you want using Tumblr’s Q&A feature.

Getting to Know (and Like) the Social Mom

Nielsen’s recent Women of Tomorrow study highlighted not only the growing influence women have on purchasing decisions, but also provided insight into their behavior across social media. A key finding from this research illustrates that “social moms” (defined as females with at least one child who actively participate in social networking) are quite influential. A new study by NM Incite and Nielsen provides additional context on social mom’s content trends, shopping tendencies and overall social media engagement.

How Social Moms Access Content
The social mom is highly active in accessing social networks via mobile devices. Fifty percent of all moms actively participating in social media access platforms via mobile devices, in comparison to 39 percent of females overall, and 37 percent of the overall population in general.

How Social Moms Shop
Social moms tend to be cost-conscious, being 56 percent more likely to download coupons than the general population. They are also more likely to shop online for CPG products than other product categories, with the research showing that 86 percent are more likely to shop online for cosmetics than the general public, as well as skincare products (85%), hair care goods (74%) and fragrances (68%).

Social Moms: Likes and Dislikes
The growing influence of women and moms is increasingly apparent, and so too is their level of activity in social media. Moms who actively participate in social media are 81 percent more likely to become a fan of or follow a brand online, 86 percent more likely to post a status update, and 84 percent more likely to comment or post content than the general population. The research also shows that social moms definitely aren’t shy in sharing their advice and reviews of products with others. This segment is 85 percent more likely than the general population to share frequent advice about beauty and cosmetic products, 28 percent more likely to provide frequent advice about online shopping/e-commerce and 6% more likely to post a product review online.

Source: Link:  http://blog.nielsen.com/nielsenwire/online_mobile/getting-to-know-and-like-the-social-mom/

Don’t Let Drunk Facebooking Happen To You!

Just in time for Thanksgiving vacations, holiday office parties and New Year’s Eve celebrations, an Internet security company and an advertising agency have teamed to launch a new free browser extension, The Social Media Sobriety Test. Designed as the ultimate “bad idea” protector, The Social Media Sobriety Test aims to help stamp out posting under the influence -- and let’s face it, anyone who imbibes, regularly or not,  is  susceptible to online ruin.  The free download can be found at www.socialmediasobrietytest.com.

The Social Media Sobriety Test  is a keyboard/mouse-based social-media blocker that prevents “under-the-influence” posting on sites including Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Flickr, YouTube and Tumblr, as well as custom URLs (like blogs) and/or web-based email accounts such as Gmail or Hotmail.  Users can customize which sites they wish to block and at which hours of the night (and following day) are the most personally vulnerable.    For access to their social media, the consumer has to pass one of a variety of randomly selected sobriety tests such as “drag your mouse in a straight line,” “type the alphabet backwards,” or “follow the finger.”

The Social Media Sobriety Test is the concept of Webroot, a leading provider of Internet security for consumers and businesses worldwide, and TDA Advertising & Design, a full-service advertising and design agency.

“We’re working with Webroot to offer this as a public service to anyone who enjoys beer, wine or spirits but doesn’t enjoy the over-sharing that often accompanies one too many,” says Jeremy Seibold, Associate Creative Director at TDA Advertising & Design, in commenting about the introduction of the Social Media Sobriety Test.  “In the old days, all you had to worry about was drunk dialing – a randomly placed call to an ex was certainly embarrassing but it was limited to him/her and maybe a few friends.  Today, the consequences of a stupid blog post or an ill-advised photo can be instantaneously spread around the globe.    It’s our hope the Sobriety Test will come to the aid of all who are in need of its protection.”

For more information, or to download the Social Media Sobriety Test, interested consumers can visit www.socialmediasobrietytest.com. Browser compatibility includes Chrome, Firefox, Internet Explorer, and Safari. 

Remember, the stupidity you avoid this holiday season could be your own.

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Shopscotch has higher cash back percentages than most other programs. For instance, Shopscotch gives 3% cashback for purchases from Walmart.com compared to other cashback programs that only give 1%!

Here's a good scenario:

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Buy it with Shopscotch and get 3% cash back reducing price to $27.16. 

 

Related articles

• Should marketers use cashback sites? (econsultancy.com)

Your Opinion Counts

Crowdtap is a marketing themed social game, integrated with Facebook, that let's members showcase their marketing skills with brands, acquiring points that build their status, and earning cash for gift cards and charity. From answering quick polls, ideating on marketing approaches and evaluating creative to sampling new products and throwing branded parties with their friends, Crowdtap provides a unique blend of online gaming paired with real world challenges. Participation is free, fun and rewarding.

Consumers now expect to have their voice heard and be involved with their favorite brands. Crowdtap is the first platform that allows them to collaborate with brands and be recognized and rewarded for their insight and influence. Recent brands launching actions on Crowdtap include a global tech company, a designer fragrance brand, a popular children's snack food, one of the world's largest restaurant chains and a feminine hygiene brand. Quite a mix!

Members enjoy the competitive game play, VIP access to brands, exclusive samples and the ability to earn cash for gift cards and the charity of their choice.  Crowdtap partner charities include Charity Water, Invisible Children and To Write Love on Her Arms and Crowdtap matches member donations earned to double their impact.

Members can join Crowdtap in seconds with their Facebook login.Click here to get started in 30 seconds. 



Disclosure: Contains affiliate link.

Fast Fire Q & A: All Things Social Media and PR with Sarah Evans

The name says it all. It's a one-hour rapid fire question and answer session with Sarah Evans. Ask any and all questions pertaining to social media and public relations. She'll answer as many questions as possible and follow up with any missed questions post-event. Register once at the $50 rate and get as many people as possible in the room with you!
 
The webinar will be hosted via GoToWebinar and the event link and password will be emailed to you the evening prior to the event. (We want to make sure that only those who pay get access to the webinar.)
Feel free to tweet along with participants using hashtag #fastfire. 

Hope to "see" you there!
- The Sevans Strategy Team

**IF YOU WORK FOR A NONPROFIT, EMAIL AMANDA@SEVANSSTRATEGY.COM FOR THE NONPROFIT DISCOUNT CODE.**

Date

Thursday, October 21, 2010 from 11:00 AM - 12:00 PM

Location

Webinar will be hosted via GoToWebinar

A link and password will be emailed to you the day of the webinar.

 

To register for the event: Go here. 

Get Your Company Into the Social Space with the Kbuzz

Carrie Kerpen, Queen Bee of the Kbuzz, is offering a special discount to our readers. Kerpen appeared on Connecting Women Radio to discuss social media and word of mouth marketing:  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/connectingwomen/2009/11/13/Connecting-Women. 

Take 50% off of the facelift (http://thefacelift.biz) or (http://thepagestarter.com) The Page Starter Pro, both of which help with a company's entrance into the social space. Use code WOMEN

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